My nipple is on Facebook.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
