I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My nipple is on Facebook.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
