I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
