She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize