weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
