i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
