Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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