why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How does one acquire holy water?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
