Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
