Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
