Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
