a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
