you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
