So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
