so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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