It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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