No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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