you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
