It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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