i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
