Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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