of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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