Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
