We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
