id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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