You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
