After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
