how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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