We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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