Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
