Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
