I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
