She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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