connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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