I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
