i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
