After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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