Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
