I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I AM VODKA MAN
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
