Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
