They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
