So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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