she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
