The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
