I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
