Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
