4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
