Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
