Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
