Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
