at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I enjoy the company of your penis
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