fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
