whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
