do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
