Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
