no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
