I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
