my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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