whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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