And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
