She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
