something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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