we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
