the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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