Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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