Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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