I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize