your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
