in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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