Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the day after is always just damage control
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize