I think I am morally bankrupt
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
