she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
