Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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