like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
