It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
