how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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