She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I haven't been this sober since birth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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