If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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