Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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