Please, let me fuck your mom
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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