if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My bed smells like the plague
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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