HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
