I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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